Love and Arrangement: The Realities of Marriage in the Soviet Union

Did Russians in the Soviet Union Marry for Love?

The concept of marriage in the Soviet Union was complex, shaped by a blend of traditional values,

state ideology, and social norms. While many individuals, particularly younger ones, valued romantic love,

the reality of marriage was often influenced by family and societal expectations. This article explores how

marriage was perceived and pursued in the Soviet Union, with a focus on the experiences of Russians and non-Russians.

Traditional Views on Marriage

Early in the Soviet period, marriage was often viewed through a pragmatic lens, focusing on economic stability

and social duty rather than romantic love. The state emphasized the importance of marriage as a means of

safeguarding the workforce and, by extension, the state's economic well-being. This view prioritized practical

considerations such as compatibility in terms of work, economic stability, and family background.

Post-War Changes in Attitudes

Following World War II, there was a significant shift in people's views on marriage. The hardship and

longing for companionship that many experienced during the war led to a greater emphasis on finding love

through marriage. This was especially evident among the younger generation, who sought emotional fulfillment

and personal happiness alongside their professional and social responsibilities.

Influence of Culture and Media

Soviet literature, films, and music often romanticized love, contributing to changing perceptions about marriage.

The portrayal of love in media played a crucial role in making it more acceptable as a reason for marrying, particularly

among urban youth. These cultural elements helped to shift the cultural narrative from a purely pragmatic one to one

that included the concept of romantic love.

State Policies and Expectations

The Soviet government promoted marriage and family as part of its social policies. However, these policies sometimes

conflicted with individual desires for personal love. The state often saw marriage as a means of social and political

stability, and families were influenced by state-sponsored programs that encouraged certain types of unions.

For instance, in some regions, families were encouraged to marry their children off to individuals who could bring

social or economic benefits to the family. While the government did not force any specific person to marry, it did

implement policies that favored specific types of marriages, often based on traditional family laws rather than

Soviet ideology.

Personal Experiences and Resistance

Individual experiences with marriage in the Soviet Union varied widely. Some people found deep, lasting love in

their marriages, while others felt pressured to conform to societal expectations. This section of the article

explores the experiences of a non-Russian woman, a Turkmen national, who fell in love with a Russian-Armenian

and was forced by her family to marry someone else. Her story highlights the complexity of the marriage system in

the Soviet Union and the instances of resistance against state policies.

One Soviet-born Turkmen national woman, the daughter of a local doctor and educated and respected man, fell in love with a Russian-Armenian national, a soldier returning home to Odesa. However, her family was already planning a marriage for her with a different individual. Forced to escape her family and the authorities, she moved covertly out of Turkmenistan.

Her family, to this day, does not recognize her marriage or her child. This case illustrates the tension between personal desires for love and state-enforced marriage policies, highlighting the persistence of traditional values even in the face of modern ideologies.

Conclusion

While many Russians in the Soviet Union did find love in marriage, particularly as attitudes shifted in

later years, the broader context of societal expectations and state influence played a significant role in

how marriage was perceived and pursued. The story of the Turkmen woman and her family is a testament to the

complexity and sometimes contradictions within the Soviet marriage system.

Related Keywords: Soviet Union, marriage for love, arranged marriages