Navigating Family Holidays: The Most Important One You Can't Spend with Them
As a healthcare professional, I often don't get to take holidays off. Instead, I'm paid extra to work on major holidays, ensuring that the necessary care continues without interruption. Despite the financial benefits, it can be challenging to turn down these holiday requests.
Why I Embrace the Holidays
While I might find it humorous that coworkers are unable to request holiday time off, it doesn't diminish my appreciation for the extra pay. The financial windfall comes in handy during family emergencies. However, as a driven employee, I always find a way to be scheduled for those crucial days when everyone else is taking a break.
Major Holidays and Their Significance
There are only a few holidays that are truly considered "full family" occasions. Thanksgiving and Christmas stand out. While Christmas is all about presents focused on children and adults acting like them, Thanksgiving truly revolves around family and food. These gatherings hold a special place in my heart, even if the social dynamics aren't always ideal.
Other Holidays: A Catalog of Chaos
Other holidays like Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, and St. Patrick's Day are nothing but chaos. Halloween is all about candy and costumes. Easter is deeply religious, with the added pressure of standing out in church. Valentine's Day is more about intimate activities, and St. Patrick's Day is just an excuse for excessive drinking. Even holidays like July 4th and Presidents' Day are centered on firecrackers, grilling, and furniture sales. Unlike these, Columbus Day is a day off for the post office, but few other meaningful events.
My Personal Holiday Preferences
Thanksgiving, for me, stands out as the most important holiday that I cannot spend with my family. Even though my family members are generally decent people, holiday gatherings can be fraught with tension and drama. I've learned to maintain a healthy distance, and the fewer Vogel clan members gathered together, the less likely it is for the day to turn into a disaster.
At about 21, I made a conscious decision to avoid holiday gatherings due to the consistent unpleasantness. Ever since, my holidays have dramatically improved. Now, I have a chosen family that invites me to their smaller, more manageable gatherings of 8-12 people. These gatherings are far more pleasant and enjoyable, often void of the conflicts that can arise within a larger family.
In the past, when I had a partner, she would sometimes insist that we attend their family gatherings. While it wasn't terrible, I never sought out these events, and the experiences were mixed at best.
The Obsession with Family and Holidays
My feelings about family and holidays are complex. I either feel ambivalent or repulsed by the idea of both. On one hand, I value the significance of these events, but on the other, the idea of blood-tied family often feels forced and intrusive. So, while I appreciate the traditions and spirit, the practicality doesn't align with my personal preferences.
So, what's the most important holiday you can't spend with your family? For me, it's most definitely Thanksgiving. Although it's a cherished tradition, the social dynamics often complicate things. With a chosen family now, my holiday experiences are much more enjoyable and stress-free.