Vacation vs. Staying Home When Dealing with Loss and Grief
The decision to go on vacation or stay home when dealing with loss and grief is a deeply personal one that depends on individual circumstances and the depth of the emotional challenge one faces. This exploration will delve into the experiences of individuals who have navigated both options, seeking to provide insights that can help others make informed decisions during such a vulnerable period.
Staying Home: A Sense of Solitude and Loss
For those who live alone, like this author who lost his wife to a stroke six years ago, staying home can be particularly challenging. The silence and emptiness can be overwhelming, especially in the evenings when there is more time to reflect on the loss. The absence of shared moments and interactions that were once a daily occurrence can leave a profound sense of loss.
In the author's case, attempting to travel to alleviate the sadness often proves futile. Even trips to different locales through altitude changes or changing time zones do not significantly alter the feelings of loneliness and the void left by the loss. Even staying in a motel room, while offering a change of scenery, can feel like an extension of the solitary living experience.
The Benefits of a Holiday: Support and Structure
Contrary to the loneliness experienced at home, a holiday can provide structured support and a renewed sense of purpose. This is exemplified in the experience of this author's mother. Following the untimely death of her husband, she struggled with bereavement and lost weight, which led to a physical and emotional toll. Bringing her to a holiday with a no-nonsense friend who had also been a bridesmaid proved to be a turning point. The companionship and the push to maintain a normal routine were instrumental in helping her return to a more balanced state.
A similar journey was undertaken by the author himself when his father passed away. Initially, staying home seemed like the logical choice, but visiting family and taking extended leave provided the necessary emotional support and allowed him to find some semblance of normalcy during the grieving process.
Personal Reflection and Coping Mechanisms
Coping with loss requires recognition and acceptance of one's own emotional state. The intensity and duration of grief can vary widely from person to person. For the author, who carried a rage stage that significantly impacted interpersonal relationships, the decision to stay home reflected the intense emotional turmoil he was experiencing. The potential for further emotional distress during a vacation was too great at the time, making home a safer, albeit more challenging, choice.
While both staying home and going on vacation have their merits, the key takeaway is to do what feels right for you. Grieving in your own way and in your own time is crucial. It is also essential to be kind to yourself and not rush the healing process. Bereavement is a deeply personal and complex experience, and everyone's journey is unique.
Conclusion
No matter the decision you make, it is vital to grieve the proper way. Failing to fully process your loss can lead to long-term emotional and physical health issues, as was the case with the author's wife who did not adequately grieve their daughter's passing two years prior. Proper grief management is a path towards healing and a more resilient future.